New year, new teacher?

 This picture is fantastic because the dogs decided to pose, too. Squirt's seductively looking over her shoulder, and Roxy lost one of her ears. Ever wonder what dogs would be like if they were people? I do. 


Anyway, the coat was on clearance at Marshall's. $56. I win. Jeff can attest to the fact that I covet all coats. Some girls fancy purses. I fancy clothing that keeps me warm. 


The tights have probably three runs in them, but I patched them up with clear nail polish. They're just on my butt (testament to how large my 'donk is?), so who cares?

The shoes are Jessica Simpson. I tell ya what. It's no big deal that she fell out of singing stardom because her true claim to fame is making wonderfully beautimous shoes on the cheap (without looking cheap).

Roxy loves her limelight. 

I look a bit like a deer in headlights, but no matter. The shirt was $20 at Express. Ohhh yeah. Who rocks the clearance rack? You bet I do.


I believe Roxy is growing a bit bored with all of these pictures.

The black bracelet is from NY&Co, the only reputable store in the pathetic excuse of a "mall" near me.

The necklace? Kohl's.

Roxy is so pooped that she decided to lay down. Such a hard life.

Oh, the skirt is from The Limited. They have the best pencil skirts.

Pencil skirts are perfect for tucking shirts (tucked-in shirts always sneak out of my pants, but they stay put in high-waisted skirts.)

TIP: The Limited gives a 15% discount to all teachers with an ID.

Other clothing stores that I frequent who also provide a teacher discount? Ann Taylor LOFT, J.Crew, NY&Co.

Honestly, just ask a place when you go to the counter. You might luck out.

New Year's Day Outfit

Let's be honest: I cannot make a "resolution" for the new year. If I resolve to stop spending money, I'll spend more just to spite myself. Emotional terrorism is always a good idea.

So, how do I go about making 2012 better than 2011? I trick myself. Here's my plan to curb my spending: shop smarter (and just buying everything on sale is not smarter). I am going to turn outfit creation into a game. My closet houses a lot of clothes, but I never seem to have anything to wear. Typical problem for women, yeah?

Well, let's call this game my new year's challenge. I challenge myself to stop buying the same things in several colors (I only ever wear one of the colors), forgetting what's in my closet (too many things get shoved to the back), buying multiple versions of the same dang thing (who really needs five black cardigans?), and being too lazy to take back clothes I clearly won't wear (if it still wears the tags after a month, then it needs to go back to the store).

 So, how else can I curtail my spending habits?

1. Buy only what I love. I need to stop buying "meh" items just because they're on sale. They just collect dust in my closet and eventually end up in Goodwill bags or a friend's closet.

2. Buy with outfits in mind. If I can think of at least three things that shirt will compliment, then I'm making a smart choice.
 
3. Take notes (mental or written down) on what I "need." If I try to put together an outfit, but I know it would benefit from a gold belt, then I should go on a hunt for a gold belt. (It's good to maintain focus.)  

4. If I'm really not sure about something, I must think on it. If it's still around in a few weeks-month and I'm still thinking about it, then it's a wise purchase. For example, see the white coat in the following picture? I waited TWO months for that coat. It was $148, and I refused to pay that much. I took some items back to The Limited yesterday, and I decided to take a gander at the clearance rack. Low and behold, what did I find? Only one of those coats was left, it was in my size, and it was marked down to $69.99. Fate? I think so. I took the coat to the register and asked if I could tack my teacher's discount (15%) to this clearance item. She said yes, so I bought the coat for $60. Patience is a virtue, folks.

 This necklace was already in my collection. I'm pretty sure it came from Kohl's, and I'm certain that my mom allowed me to use one of the million 30% off coupons she poops out.

The pink sweater is also from Kohl's.

The gray skinny corduroys are from American Eagle. I think my mom bought them for me last Christmas. You'll find that my mom picked out a lot of my clothes. I put new meaning to the song "I get it from my momma."

I found these lacy black flats on the clearance rack at DSW. I wanted black flats, and I narrowed my choices down to two. I took a picture of both shoes on my feet and texted the picture to my mom. She liked these better than the others, which I was hoping she'd say.

(Side note: I'm glad I could exercise self control and buy only one pair. See, I'm already making progress!)

Wish me luck on my new year's clothes challenge!

Ramblings of an idiot who's in need of winter break...

It's time for show and tell. I'm a weirdo.

Most ridiculous video of me singing about homophones

Please do not judge my singing ability (or lack thereof). This video is meant for the amusement of people who are annoyed by other people who cannot spell. 

Also, the lyrics aren't easy to hear the whole way through because the Spice Girls are LOUD.

Here is Spice Girls Rewritten:

Oh, what do you think about that
Now you know how to spell
You say, you know your grammar and use it well  
(Are you for real?)
It’s very easy, so give it a try,
But if YOU’RE really stupid, then I'll say buh-BYE

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I wanna really, really, really want for you to learn how to spell

If you wanna be a smarty, you gotta learn how to spell
It’s really very easy, and it makes you look so swell
You gotta learn some homophones, and tell these words apart
Acting dumb is easy, but intelligence is an art

So, here it is real E to the Z.
You wanna get the grade, you gotta hear my tirade

We got too many guys who want to poke you in the…eye
You wanna be smarter than a donkey, then
Proofreading does no harm; works like a charm
And if you don’t? Ha sound the alarm.   

They’re all laughing at you and rolling on the ground
They’re all laughing at you and rolling on the ground

If you wanna be a smarty, you gotta learn how to spell
It’s really very easy, and it makes you look so swell
You gotta learn some homophones, and tell these words apart
Acting dumb is easy, but intelligence is an art

Whoooo or whoooom? (to be said like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland)

Well, I can assure you that the caterpillar was correct. It is, in fact, who are you, not whom are you.

Okay, so what is the difference between who and whom?

In my post about me vs. I, I briefly discussed subjects vs. objects. I = subject and me = object. In terms of who vs. whom, who = subject and whom = object.

Questions using who vs. whom:

• Who told you I pick my nose? (I don't pick it. I'm scratching an itch, thank you.)
• Who farted?
• Who farted on whom?
• Whom do you love? (Yes, Bo Diddley had it wrong.)
• Whom will Santa give big, fat, turd-sized coal to this year? 
• Whom are you asking to the Sadie Hawkins dance (in his khaki pants)? (If you know that allusion, I owe you a cookie.)

Do questions confuse you? Here is a tip. Turn the sentence into a statement and see whether he (subject) or him (object) fits better. 

• He told you I pick my nose.
• He farted.
• He farted on him.
• You love him.
• Santa will give big, fat, turd-sized coal to him this year
• You are asking him to the Sadie Hawkins dance.

Clauses using who vs. whom:

1. Again, if you're talking about the subject of a clause, use who.
• Santa Claus, who brings fossilized poop to naughty children, actually loves to find out that you've been nice. (He goes not enjoy the smell of feces.)
• Ms. Wo, who acts like a total whackadoo, always finds new ways of amusing her students.
• Everyone laughs at the crazy teacher, who always leaves a lasting impression on her students. 
• The pattern: In the clause, who is the subject. You could make it a sentence by replacing it with he/she. 
• He brings fossilized poop.
• She acts like a total whackadoo.
• She always leaves a lasting impression. 
2. If you're talking about the object of a clause, use whom.
•  Santa Claus, whom children fear will bring them fossilized poop, would much prefer for you to be nice, not naughty; he really does not enjoy catching wind of your stinky stocking contents. 
• Ms. Wo, whom students look at with raised eyebrows, always acts like a whackadoo just to see how students will react.  
• Everyone laughs at the crazy teacher, whom students never forget. 
• The pattern: In the clause, whom is the object. Another noun in the clause actually functions as the subject. You could write them as sentences by replacing the whom with him/her. 
• Children fear him. 
• Students look at her with raised eyebrows. 
• Students will never forget her. 

     Whom do you love for telling you about who vs. whom? 

ME!

Every day's word of the day: POOP. (video post)

Why I hate doorknobs...and thongs...but not my brother (video)

The video speaks for itself.