Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Most ridiculous video of me singing about homophones

video
Please do not judge my singing ability (or lack thereof). This video is meant for the amusement of people who are annoyed by other people who cannot spell. 

Also, the lyrics aren't easy to hear the whole way through because the Spice Girls are LOUD.

Here is Spice Girls Rewritten:


Oh, what do you think about that
Now you know how to spell
You say, you know your grammar and use it well  
(Are you for real?)
It’s very easy, so give it a try,
But if YOU’RE really stupid, then I'll say buh-BYE

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I wanna really, really, really want for you to learn how to spell

If you wanna be a smarty, you gotta learn how to spell
It’s really very easy, and it makes you look so swell
You gotta learn some homophones, and tell these words apart
Acting dumb is easy, but intelligence is an art

So, here it is real E to the Z.
You wanna get the grade, you gotta hear my tirade
We got too many guys who want to poke you in the…eye
You wanna be smarter than a donkey, then
Proofreading does no harm; works like a charm
And if you don’t? Ha sound the alarm.   

They’re all laughing at you and rolling on the ground
They’re all laughing at you and rolling on the ground

If you wanna be a smarty, you gotta learn how to spell
It’s really very easy, and it makes you look so swell
You gotta learn some homophones, and tell these words apart
Acting dumb is easy, but intelligence is an art

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Whoooo or whoooom? (to be said like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland)


Well, I can assure you that the caterpillar was correct. It is, in fact, who are you, not whom are you.

Okay, so what is the difference between who and whom?

In my post about me vs. I, I briefly discussed subjects vs. objects. I = subject and me = object. In terms of who vs. whom, who = subject and whom = object.

Questions using who vs. whom:
  • Who told you I pick my nose? (I don't pick it. I'm scratching an itch, thank you.)
  • Who farted?
  • Who farted on whom?
  • Whom do you love? (Yes, Bo Diddley had it wrong.)
  • Whom will Santa give big, fat, turd-sized coal to this year? 
  • Whom are you asking to the Sadie Hawkins dance (in his khaki pants)? (If you know that allusion, I owe you a cookie.)
Do questions confuse you? Here is a tip. Turn the sentence into a statement and see whether he (subject) or him (object) fits better. 
  • He told you I pick my nose.
  • He farted.
  • He farted on him.
  • You love him.
  • Santa will give big, fat, turd-sized coal to him this year
  • You are asking him to the Sadie Hawkins dance.

Clauses using who vs. whom:
  1. Again, if you're talking about the subject of a clause, use who.
    • Santa Claus, who brings fossilized poop to naughty children, actually loves to find out that you've been nice. (He goes not enjoy the smell of feces.)
    • Ms. Wo, who acts like a total whackadoo, always finds new ways of amusing her students.
    • Everyone laughs at the crazy teacher, who always leaves a lasting impression on her students. 
    • The pattern: In the clause, who is the subject. You could make it a sentence by replacing it with he/she. 
      • He brings fossilized poop.
      • She acts like a total whackadoo.
      • She always leaves a lasting impression. 
  2. If you're talking about the object of a clause, use whom.
    •  Santa Claus, whom children fear will bring them fossilized poop, would much prefer for you to be nice, not naughty; he really does not enjoy catching wind of your stinky stocking contents. 
    • Ms. Wo, whom students look at with raised eyebrows, always acts like a whackadoo just to see how students will react.  
    • Everyone laughs at the crazy teacher, whom students never forget. 
    • The pattern: In the clause, whom is the object. Another noun in the clause actually functions as the subject. You could write them as sentences by replacing the whom with him/her. 
      • Children fear him. 
      • Students look at her with raised eyebrows. 
      • Students will never forget her
     Whom do you love for telling you about who vs. whom? 
ME!